My “review” of The Amazing Spider-Man 2

May 5, 2014
1 minute read

The movie started with a rather large man sitting in front of me (let’s call him Hezekiah, though his name could have been anything). Of course I didn’t mind, but it became a problem as he decided to recline a lot farther than the seat seemed to be engineered for, resulting in very little leg room. Nonetheless, the first six previews were entertaining, the last one not so much, but then the movie started.

The first hour was uneventful, mostly due to the sub-par script, but then the crying children act began. At it’s apex, one of the children with Hezekiah began screaming that he needed to pee, over and over again, doing what I believe was an Irish jig (though I could be mistaken), and Hezekiah told him that it was fine. It was fine, at least that’s what they agreed upon when the child pissed himself. Hezekiah asked if he was satisfied, and child said uh huh, and they both seemed pleased.

After a relatively quiet second hour, it seems Hezekiah was not entertained, as he began to snore after leaning back some more. It was good that he woke up to see the end of the movie, or the story might have gotten lost on him.

Oh yeah, Spider-man, the action scenes were pretty good, the dialogue was really bad, and it felt like there were weird plot points missing, but if you’re not too tied to $15 and like Marvel movies, I’d go see it.

Joe Fabisevich is an indie developer creating software at Red Panda Club Inc. while writing about design, development, and building a company. Formerly an iOS developer working on societal issues @Twitter.

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